tecktonik

Oh my god, at first sight of people doing I became infatuated with it. I don't care what other people say I think its one of the sickest dances ever. I want to learn really bad and I'm going to begin praticing as much as I can I'm already starting to learn the basic steps! I can't wait till I'm a lot better and when I go to parties when the techno is bumping I'm going to bust a move haha!

Here's a Introduction to the music that "the boys" bump in Lex 1's car.

Dj Antoine - Work your Pussy_This Time (Mix) -

Why I don't have a girlfriend.

You know its kinda funny lately that a lot of people have been asking me oh how come you don't have a girlfriend? or when they ask have you had a girlfriend? and when I answer No they look at me with astonishment like what the hell thats crazy. Honestly I'm way too self conscious with my self and I know thats a problem but I have no idea to fix it, I'm soo shy when it comes to talking to people in person ill usually sit there and just smile at them with a blank stare in my eyes don't say anything until spoken too. I have no perception of whether a girl likes me or not I never get a clue with the hints they drop. And even sometimes ill take things the wrong way and oh man does that end as a disaster. When I do like a girl I usually never gather enough courage to even tell them and just let some other guy just take them away which does take a toll on me but I've gotten kind of used to it. I've noticed that when girls tell me things that like oh yeah defiantly were gunna do or yeah i'm going to make this. It never happens haha and I never want to ask "hey when are we gunna do this" or "hey have you made that note yet" because I feel soo scared to ask them and that they'll get an idea of me that I'm some sort of a naggy person or that i'm just plain annoying. Another thing is when I actually do hangout with a girl I imagine to be soo awesome and my head goes wild, but in the head i'll end up with disappointment because it NOTHING ever goes according to plan. I'm just a weird person people also say I'm just really picky but you know I don't care because all these years of me not having a girlfriend I've had the time to observe having a girlfriend is kinda superficial I mean hardly anyone stays together longer than a year It's highschool most kids break up within months. Now I'm not saying I don't a girlfriend because I do want expirenence it all for myself just having somoene to sit next and cuddle for hours on and just talk about the most random adventures Is honestly what I dream about I guess if it doesn't happen now I can always wait.

I don't know.

This past few week's I've felt so indifferent about my self. I literally falling apart one piece by piece. The funny thing no one is noticing , I'm doing things that is really out of my norm out of peer pressure. My grades are slowly slipping away from me and I only have two weeks to repair them. I doubt I'll make CSF this year. My heart is about to burst I have no direction there is no light for me to follow there is no signs for me get a hint from I am just falling apart mentally right now. I just want one time just once for something to go my way. I honestly need guidance.