tense.

phases and phrases are all coming by like a slow heart beat of a dying old man, I try to pace my self like a teen hooked on e. things are should come around right? or do they really ?

pathetic

I guess i'm turning into something I didn't want to be but honestly I guess I'm getting

"desperate" when it comes to a girlfriend situation. I admit I do get jealous more so then often nowa days when i see couples just sitting together and they share that bond between each other where they look into their eyes and all they see is there wonderful times together. And people always tell oh wow you've never had a girl friend? wow good job you're not like a man whore. Ahh well to tell you the truth I feel left out because all my friends have had girl friends or have them and I want to expirence what they expirence the ups and downs and just be able to say I've been there. Honestly I am waiting for the day my friends want to hangout and I'll say nah man I can't I'm going to hangout with my girlfriend. :(

I don't know what you call it. low self esteem or what.

I don't know how to put it in the right words but I'm so self conciouses about myself its stupid.. I need to keep losing weight I've been kind on a plateau lately and not really gaining or losing weight. Honestly what I think if i lost more weight girls would like me more. It's just the way I look at it and I can't change it but force my self to change. with almost any measures needed. fml.